Gasoline in every pore and part of me (gasoline), Sores still bleed with every pump of this heart in me (every pump of this heart), Lungs will shrivel up and dry out, Coated in this thick liquid I’ll tie myself to this pyre and light it with my hands bound. It’s finer living life like you know me It’s finer living life like you know It’s finer living life like you know me It’s finer living life like this right now Don’t heal it, don’t heal it I won’t feel a thing anymore I’ll be cleansed of every paranoid Impulse and a cancer that brings me close It brings me so close to the edge (so close to the edge) brings me so close to a ready end (so close to a ready end) Brings me so close to a lighthouse island Barren place where I can close my eyelids Flip the lighter lid, stop the silent dread Purge my mind, it’s my accomplishment it’s a final wish Fire coming in, fire coming in, Fire coming in, feel it lick my lips, smother me out, smother me out, smother me out I wanna rip off every part of my skin I wanna peel this shit off like a plastic layer constricting me Throw the pieces in a paper bag and distill my blood into a wine for somebody else to drink. Some are senseless Some are violent Some are alone Some are senseless Some are violent Some are alone Some are senseless Some are violent Some are alone I’m an alien I’m an alien I’m an alien I’m an alien I’m an alien I’m an alien I’m an alien I’m an alien I’m an alien I’m an alien I’m an alien I’m a

Please someone Please someone Please someone Please (adlibbed) Someone is stunting me Pin me down count of three Lie down on the floorboards Splinters in my fingers Split my concentration Dilute medication Spill drinks and can’t clean them Spirits crushed and I can’t fix them Bottled up and hidden in the fridge, missing Rotten fruits and everything rancid Cups of the rosé and bottles of Jack Crack open a cold one and roll into a short bliss More of this, more of that, put me down to another break, Snap me in half see just how much I’ll take Guess I’m lucky to be on the team Guess I’m lucky to be on the team Gotta get up and go beyond my strengths Gotta get up and go beyond my place Gotta be out here somewhere Gotta be out here Gotta be out here somewhere Gotta be out here Gotta be out here somewhere Gotta be out here Got something to be don’t ya? Don’t just ask me, it’s quite clear, I’m not needed right now I’m not needed right now, I’ll see through what we do and ride home on this beat, just where I’ll be when you’re calling on my phone like “where’ve you been this week?” It’s a freedom I can’t complain, speed up and crash into the weekend, reel in all the ties I’ve got to these friends of mine, wring them out into my basin of sorrow, limits to my worth are leaving my self-esteem in the dirt, hold on for a drink from the fountain, make me clean, wash my sleeves off, the gold dust will peel off, on y’all behalf I’m leaving these lies behind, I’m leaving this life behind, I’m contemplating pulling strings and getting my name changed, my mainstay is built of things I can’t rely on, I feel amazing, losing a part of myself ain’t a part of this play that I’m writing in live time, flashback to when I could read minds, now I can’t see through the thickets and I wonder where’s mine, where’s it gone, where am I gonna be in five years, ten years, a lifetime, filled with worry, is that what’s meant for me? When God wrote out my life in the stars did he decide that I'll always be bent over in fear of mankind? Or did he have something better, is this just a temporary hold while I scratch away at my fetters? Inexplicable really, it’s a feeling that I can’t maintain, and yet it maintains me, it keeps me awake at night right after it tucks me in to sleep, it’s an evil mother that keeps my spine splintered and never puts me on my feet, I never learned how to walk, how to talk, do the people I’m close to even think that I know to? Or is it even worth mentioning that I live undercover?

Got a fear of living life like the old me Got a hold on my mind lock and gold key Got a nagging kind of doubt, steady, no end Got a fever can’t sweat out from some fake friends Shit is not new Cracking through my mind’s eye like a sharp tooth Snapping on a late night call, this is all you, all follow patterns that I saw through It’s what it is, eh? You think you can walk off cause you’re busy? Try to take some time off from your work life See the candle’s burnt up, black on both sides Night shift light a fire in my lungs again Stomachache, still wanna smoke it numb again Poking fun, it’s been love, don’t want none of this Let the sun talk, but it’s grating loving this Live a little more live a little more Many enemies, some still play nice Take my own advice, running from the devil’s feast Cattle fat line my insides, shovel out my stomach, it’s a sacrifice but the breathing parts inseparable, do I have to leverage gold just to get home? Or live alone, just so I can call through payphones? If I go, I’m still going with a lot of spite, if I hide it I’m a liar, I can’t stand a fight

Picked up my phone for the 4th or 5th time today to see if I’d gotten a message yet, haven’t read anything said, consequences of being lonely is before you even see anything you regret it, over-said it, bled out on a text and pressed send before you had even read it. Pathetic, eh? It’s all hypothetical of course, but if you see the tracks where the course was forged you’d feel the force of my mistakes, the discord triples back and forth, the path behind is a barren waste, I’m past it now but the safe space is nowhere to be found and uneven ground ahead, tread lightly. Before the lack of insight hit me I was trying to get rich and die quickly, besides lifting myself up was never quit my style, it didn’t fit me. Spitting venom and hissing was always easy, but I’d freeze if and when it came back to hit me, so the only way out was through shifty means. Knew I would sound crazy, so I never said a thing Knew I would sound crazy, so I didn’t say what I mean Knew it would hit different to leave Knew I couldn’t grieve without a time away, I believed Knew I would sound crazy, so I never said a thing Knew I would sound crazy, so I didn’t say what I mean Knew it would hit different to leave Knew I couldn’t grieve without a time away, I believed Split up a paycheck, part paid for a flight I’m dogged and impatient, at the terminal I’d spend my nights All day, I’d be sleeping, stopped for no one but my love Walking Dead on the TV, but I was writing up above Poems and letters like I was running out of time Equipped for the distance I knew what was mine I felt listless listening to rambling lines about Wishing and waiting for somebody else’s sight I wanted peace I wanted comfort I wanted to melt into another mind, the confrontation aroused long blunted feelings I didn’t know I had for so many moons, high off perfume, ideas of consummation drifted around my room, spilling out of me like my pale skin had broken, putting all my love and demons out into the open, a can of unspoken truths was being pried at, the worms were wriggling in my stomach and behind my back, I can’t hide that, it’s universal to feel ashamed of unshared love, so am I still to blame for giving up when love gets rough? I deny that, I’m a man, not a plate to be idly picked at and sent in, objects are sinless thank a God that’s not me, reception or connection was fuzzy and the weight of just being was starting to bend me, snapped like a toothpick over the knee of a higher power, clean my tears in the shower, I’m a coward, I can’t stick up for my own rights and I couldn’t support hers either, trapping out the self, pulling promises out of the ether, selling security by degrees, trapped in the infinite, I couldn’t unsnare or birdfeed her, just to please her I told her it was beneath her, but still belief persisted and this ebenezer was carried for too long to release.

Fuck this beat and go to sleep I’m over it already Keep on missing, everything I want I said it already I want silence in my room when I’m trying to think And I want bitches in my life who aren’t lying to me I want a real ass paycheck, cover my phone bill and have some bank left Get a fake book, write hooks, get contagious, leave a trail behind, But while I’m down I can’t get up before 5. My will is immeasurable, politicking doesn’t solve my problems Unpleasant as it is I will stand before God and all them, Live a little, die a lot, that’s the bargain Wrap it up, wrap it up, show’s over Got a night bus to catch and I need to focus Local parties aren’t attractive to me I got too much on my mind and I can’t sit in one place Feel my face, I’m getting hot and I’m feeling afraid Who can relate, drift away, it’s a living hell Feel the self now, I’m feeling unwell Wrap it up, wrap it up, show’s over Got a night bus to catch and I need to focus I can’t seem to feel the cold and it’s fifteen degrees My brain is still away, I’m feeling emptier almost every week Incomplete, tuck my fingers in the holes in my jeans, Do a little research, coping with the sense of something bleaker, Sick or dying, who am I to be a leader?

Drifting through seas without end Float on a landscape by threads No silence in dreams, the violins still pierce through it seems Make something from nothing here, man Make something from nothing here All my blood runs cleanly Misstep, slip, missed meaning. loving in waves hate what I made bloodless and feeling kinda free love while I’m sleeping peace for a season morning comes, needs slash my wings Speed falling freely Stare at the ceiling Cracks in the sky looking back onto me More than I see’s in these walls, yeah More than I see’s in these walls Son in late years, seldom seen Rush through day shifts for ends to meet Keep my soul slumped for weeks on end Blissful, bland, numb, knocked up hands Shit don’t get cleaner, I’m holding my keys Can’t hold the door cus you know you’ll be seen Screaming for love get this filthy disease Believe in a God who can’t seem to bring peace Lucky I’m still home Lucky I’m still grown Lucky don’t feel it Fuck the experience Stuck on a cancer I can’t seem to burn out All of these dancers don’t make me feel proud I’m a clout chaser I’m on foul labor I want pouring rain, wash my soul with a razor keep my spirit intact, but I’ll start up again with a few things brought back loving in waves hate what I made bloodless and feeling kinda free love while I’m sleeping peace for a season morning comes, needs slash my wings Speed falling freely Stare at the ceiling Cracks in the sky looking back onto me More than I see’s in these walls, yeah More than I see’s in these walls loving in waves hate what I made bloodless and feeling kinda free love while I’m sleeping peace for a season morning comes, needs slash my wings Speed falling freely Stare at the ceiling Cracks in the sky looking back onto me More than I see’s in these walls, yeah More than I see’s in these walls